At the centre of everything going on in your life, be it good or bad, you are the variable.
In some way, shape or form, you are present during every decision that is made, every purchase you make, and every interaction you have with another. So essentially, there is no one you can ever blame external to yourself for anything that ever goes right or wrong in your life.
So few seem to recognize this. There was a time where I blamed everyone and everything for what was going wrong in my life, but I wasted no time in taking full responsibility for the things that were going right. We see it as being easier, I suppose, if we can blame something external to us for an issue, we can wash our hands of it, it’s now their problem, not ours. But what we often fail to realize, is that though we may be physically washing our hands of it, we are carrying around that anger, the thoughts pointed towards the situation, the emotion, which, over time, is far worse.
In a world that so many feel is going mad, so many are turning inwards. When we feel that things external to us are out of control or beyond our control, we turn inwards to work on ourselves as a sort of self-preservation type response, which, allows us to feel good.
That being said, are we really doing much for the world and those external to us, if we are so focussed on becoming the best versions of ourselves that we can be, and, in this day and age, often dedicating our entire lives to this?
I wrestle with the notion of whether or not the world IS going mad, or if we are just more exposed to it than ever before thanks to our friend, the Internet, and as we know these days, Social Media. You may have even stumbled across this piece via Social Media, so it can’t be all bad, right?
Prior to the Internet, our world, and the world as we knew it, existed in what was in our immediate vicinity, and also what existed in our imagination about what the future may hold, and our memories following traveling outside of our immediate environment.
When there was less exposure to the outside world, was there more of an opportunity to turn a blind eye to the fact that decisions we were making as humans were all of our own making? Was it easier to lay blame? Was it easier to get away with it because secrets could be harboured much easier? Big brother was not watching so much as he does now, camera phones did not exist, mobile phones did not exist at a point in time, do we remember this?
I am nowhere near perfect, but one thing that I do do, and have done for a while now is accept blame. It took me a long time to get there and I had to get out of my own way.
I hurt people, I disappointed people, I hurt myself, and I disappointed myself, but, in the end, taking full responsibility for my own actions, be they positive or negative, turned out to be one of the most empowering, yet still challenging accomplishments of my existence as a human thus far.
There is absolutely no other way to be in this day and age and, as we further evolve, we, as individuals make choices everyday, and these choices have outcomes.
Whether or not there are other people involved or if we perceive these other people as influencing us in one way or another; ultimately, it is our choice to take action or not, no one else, no one other person, or being can be blamed.
It’s all on you for your life, and it’s all on me for mine.
So, what’s it going to be next time you end up in a less than desirable situation?
Are you going to turn inward and take responsibility for how you got there?
Or are you going to lash out?
The choice is yours, no one else’s.
This piece was also featured on The Huffington Post