I’m Not Depressed — I’m Creative – These words hit me almost like a lightning bolt. Of course I am going to feel different, my whole life has changed!
I was having a good discussion with someone this week about the transition from doing the “9–5” to the more entrepreneurial type lifestyle and we covered some incredible topics.
The headline of this piece was one which just came to me in the car when I was driving and has been something I have been grappling with for a while.
I thought it was time to write about it and the hope that it helps others going through what I have been and am going through currently.
I worked full time for many years and many jobs. It was just what I did and I suppose, what society would tell many of us that we should do. In my younger years, I questioned nothing. I just went to work Monday to Friday, did my job, went home and then did whatever on the weekend.
As I aged, I felt a change in me. I felt less and less satisfied with going to work every day and I started to feel more and more tired and was beginning to allow life to get on top of me.
Many cracks began to appear, but often in this world, we are told to just get on with it, so we do. Until the day comes where we can’t get on with it anymore, our body and our mind says enough is enough.
Long story short, I went through a major low, but I came out the other side smiling. I’ve written about this on numerous occasions and can point you to these articles if you wish.
Working in a full-time job Monday to Friday can give us a lot, it can give us a career, we spend time with people every day, it gives us somewhere to go.
Since leaving my full-time job for a year to write and pursue my creative talents, I started to feel that awful sense of there being something missinginside yet again.
Only this time, it was different, and I was equipped with the mindset to handle it.
Some days I sleep in, others I get up early, some nights I am in bed by 9, others it is 2am. Many will say this is not healthy, but opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one.
I remember feeling as if I was leaning towards the depressive end of the scale in the way which I have been living my life since leaving my job. That internal chatter began to creep in to my thoughts like it did once upon a time when things became too much.
But in spending more time around creative souls, I soon realised that this was not so. Creative beings go with the tide so to speak. We go to bed when the day is done, and we rise when it is ready to begin. That is the long and the short of it.
Becoming a full-time writer is an interesting head-space to enter. Prior to leaving my job, I had my whole 12 months off planned. I was going to have Xamount of writing done by X date, and it was all going to be flowers and roses.
The reality — not so. Some days I get up and my mind is almost blank, for hours, but then I am hit with a wave of ideas and energy and can write for 12 hours straight. Then the next day, nothing.
So in the adjustment from going from a life that was almost laid out for me, to one which I now drive myself, what have I learnt?
I’ll tell you.
Trusting in the process of creativity, and I am aware that I can be the blocker to the process if I allow myself to overthink things.
Having faith that everything I am doing each day is all working towards a goal.
3. Be willing to change the plan — but never the goal
Have a clear goal in mind and keep moving toward it. Only ever change or adjust your plan — never the end goal.
4. The Creative mindset is a roller-coaster
Creative people, in my opinion, tend to operate more intuitively and are often sensitive to the energies of the world. Just as the weather can change from one minute to the next, so to can the mind of a creative being. We are always looking for a better more exciting way to do things, and it a rare day where we conform to the ‘norm’ — whatever that means.
5. Knowing that I am different and knowing that this is perfectly OK
This is a big one.
Again, I’ve written at length about this in the past. I have always had a knowing that I think a little different, act a little different, and see the world a little different.
I’ve learnt over the years that this is completely OK — and that when I became 100% OK with this, my world changed. I started to gravitate towards, and attract like-minded people, people who have had profound impacts on who I am as a person, and who continue to inspire me every day.
These words here just now are my story, and by no means am I intending to preach anything to you, or downplay how you may be feeling.
My intent behind writing this today is to share my experience in shifting my mindset as I evolve more into a creative and free spirit, or perhaps as I return to the creative spirit I have always been.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings on what I have written hear today, and also your story if you are so willing to share.
Thank you for reading.