Soul mates and twin flames, these topics are hot on the lips of many now, and so they should be.
The nature of what many want out of a relationship, be it an intimate one, a relationship with a friend, or even a workplace has, and is continuing to change.
As the years continue to go by, seemingly quicker and quicker, the vibration of the planet gets higher, taking with it the vibration of all living things that inhabit it. Leaving behind all that no longer serves our highest good as beings, and leading us closer to a state of enlightenment, a state of peace, and calm.
Life has become quite erratic for many over the last decade, more so the last 5 years I’d say, as we began to live in an increasingly connected world, that being the online world, but we were ultimately drifting further and further apart from each other, in the form of actual human to human connection.
What goes up, must come down.
Conversations I’ve been having with people of all ages, demographics, far and wide, have had a common theme – people want to be around REAL people again, not this false and filtered world that we have allowed to be created in the palm of our hands.
Perhaps it is my nature as a being, I’ve never really questioned it, but I seem to field a lot of questions and have a lot of conversations about intimate and loving relationships, about finding a partner, a soul mate, a twin flame.
Often these conversations start in quite a heightened state, where I may receive a call or a text from someone recently heartbroken, or just sick of what the dating world has become, and so we talk it out.
Often just taking that first step to reach out to another for help can take away much of our perceived pressure of the worries in our lives.
Talk of people putting up ‘walls’ around their hearts and their souls these days is common, and I can only base this on the conversations I have personally. People who talk about building such walls do so as a self-preservation response to getting hurt, in that if they build a wall, they can then choose who they allow to break through it, or break it down, and can leave those who they wish not to come through it, outside of it, where they will remain safe.
In having a recent conversation about this wall approach to love and life, the headline of this piece came to me, Build A Maze To Your Heart and Soul – Not A Wall Around Them.
Building a wall can be almost an automatic defence approach to getting hurt, “If I don’t let anyone in, then no one can hurt me”. Ok, that may work for a while, but not forever. When people I talk to tell me they have put up their wall, they often go on to tell me what they are looking for in a lover, or a partner, they have a firm picture in their mind of what they want.
What I say back to this is – be clear on what you do not want, and what you will not allow to come to you.
To do so, be very clear on what your non-negotiables are in a potential suitor. Stand for your beliefs, decide on what you are willing to negotiate on, and decide what you are not willing to negotiate on – be ruthless here – for you are the only one who gets up each day and lives your life in your mind – no one else.
Imagine that you are at the centre of the maze to your heart and soul you have just built. Imagine what type of maze you would like it to be;
What colour is it?
How big is it?
How complicated is it?
Use your imagination and your mind’s eye to create your maze – go wild.
Next, imagine what kinds of twists and turns it will have, where are the dead ends? Will there be any checkpoints where those who enter the maze will get to, where you can both evaluate how everything is going and whether it is worthwhile proceeding.
I don’t believe in playing games when it comes to people, but I do believe in setting up ‘tests’ if you will. We don’t have to like everybody, and we certainly don’t have to let anyone and everyone into our lives. We certainly don’t let anyone just walk into our homes, so why would our minds, bodies, hearts and souls be any different?
By now you are building a picture of what your maze is going to look like, and you are getting familiar with the layout. You know exactly where the twists, turns and dead ends are, and you know the path that goes straight from the entrance, right to your heart and soul. You must remember that you are not closed off entirely to that special someone coming along and figuring it out effortlessly on their first go.
If you’ve become clear in your mind on what you are not willing to let into your life, as opposed to dreaming only of what you will, then you may even find that after you build your maze, someone will come along who finds their way right to the centre straight away.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’ll leave you here and say this, I am no expert on love and relationships, and to be honest, I don’t believe there are really any experts in this world on anything. There merely people who have been exposed to certain things more than others, and have learnt ways of navigating around obstacles – often a fresh pair of eyes on an issue is the best solution.
Here right now I am consolidating all that I have learnt in my life so far, and learnt from others and their experiences. Through talking, through trial and error, through hurt, through sadness, and through happiness.
If you are currently like I have been up until quite recently, and have just finished building your elaborate wall, and you’ve got it looking fabulous, sorry, but it is now time to knock it down and build a maze, and just see what happens.
I wish you well.
Shared also on The Huffington Post.