If there is one thing that I have learnt on my journey through life thus far, it is that becoming the person who you truly are at the core is less about learning, and more about remembering who you once were. Who you were before you allowed the world to dictate to you how you should be as a person, who you were as a child, when you were young, wild and free, and loved for just being you.
In my mid to late twenties, leading up to turning 30, I had it all figured out. I had direction, I had a good education, I had drive. I had it all figured out and nothing was going to stand in my way.
Something shifted in me, some kind of primal need all of a sudden was not being met. All of these external experiences I had been having all of a sudden lost all meaning and I found myself rapidly losing my grip on the ladder I had been so desperate to climb during my 20’s. I started to remember all of the things that I did when I was younger that brought me great joy and happiness, and I soon realised that not one of those things was present in my life – things had to change.
This feeling of dissatisfaction became a great concern of mine, and I knew that I needed to do something but, alas, me being me, I thought “I’ll get to that later.” As we all know, sometimes later never comes, and life has its way of introducing new distractions and events that either lead us to our destiny immediately, or take us the long way.
I’ve known from a young age the type of person that I am, the person who I wish to be, and the person that I have been showing the world.
The latter is one which is stuck somewhere in the middle of the first two – so an integration of all beings must occur.
As the years have rolled by since my mid to late twenties, I, along with many others, have awoken, almost re-incarnated into another being. Feeling a little different, thinking a little different, taking a little bit more time and doing things correctly, the first time – the poor man always pays twice.
Becoming (remembering) who you truly are can be incredibly difficult where relationships are concerned, and not just intimate relationships with a lover or a partner, but those with your family, your friends, work, and particularly yourself. But, as they say, surround yourself with those who will lift you higher. Often, however, these people are not those who are in our lives in our early years. Granted there are a few, but we do accumulate a few posers along the way.
One thing I have always liked about myself is my ability to tell it like it is. If there is truth to be told or someone needs to be put in their place, I have always been more than happy to be the person to do it. I am also the person who is more than happy to be put in their place and take criticism on the chin, granted I may have a slight tantrum and have to sleep on it, but I will come around eventually and I’ve gotten a lot better at taking constructive criticism, and having less tantrums.
Becoming who you are (remembering who you are) is about cementing all of those primal behaviours you exhibited before the world told you who you were supposed to be, learning what the world has to teach you, incorporating those lessons into your behaviour, and with this new knowledge, accepting and returning to the higher self. Becoming who you truly are is going to feel hard, there’s no smoothing that over. You’re going to feel uncomfortable, dizzy, lost, and you’re going to day dream. If you’re like me when everything gets to overwhelming, you might even cry a little. But you know what? It’s going to be worth it.
You have no idea how truly strong you are at the core of your being, or do you?
See that’s the thing, we all know what we can be deep down inside, and it’s not that we are afraid of what we aren’t capable of doing, but more so afraid of what we are capable of so much more. I know this for a fact within myself, for years I was often terrified of all that I could be, rarely of what I was not. It’s been a long time coming but the integration of my being is almost complete, and I’m so happy that you’re all coming along for the ride.
We really are all in this together.
I published this on The Huffington Post when I was just a pup and have re-written parts of it in this piece.