Dreams, we all have them, we all know how good they can be, and sometimes how confronting they can be, are you living yours? Or are they just out of reach, or worse, put on hold in the pursuit of someone elses dream?
Security, it means something different to everyone, but say for argument’s sake we were to define security as taking part in the ‘norm’. Getting an education, getting a job, having savings, growing your super, buying a house, the list goes on. All of these things so many of us are told are so important and advertising and clever marketing would have us believe that should be not strive for any of these, that we’ve somehow failed life, we’ve not made it, we are not going for the ‘dream’ of whichever country we reside in.
Dreams, where do they fit into this equation? If you are leaving your house every day at 7 am to commute for an hour to sit in a box with people you don’t really like for another 8 hours, then commute back to your dwelling for another hour to walk in the door, eat, shit, sit, bathe and then sleep to do it all again, how much time have you allowed your dreams come in to fruition?
And I mean REALLY come to fruition, with no excuse, with no effort, with none of this “oh I’ve got an hour free on Thursday in the third week of next month but that might change” bullshit calendar entry type living. Where in your life is the opportunity for it to just flow, without needing to think about how if you miss work you’ll miss a car payment, and then you’ll be poor for a month until you catch up because you acted on an instinct to just live, as opposed to just exist?
Shit, in reading this back right now I am finding myself increasingly overcome with a sense of “what the fuck? Have I wasted all this time heading towards goals that I was told were important only to realize I’ve not touched my piano for a month and this was something that when I Was a kid, played like I breathed?”.
**Insert existential crisis and low key meltdown here**
This Western way of living is all a bit weird really. If you think about it from a more traditional community-based way of living, whereby the children are raised by the village, not just the parents, what IS our village in this Western world?
Is it daycare? After school care? School? Work? Various institutions where we send our kids to be taken care of by strangers because they hold a Certificate Two in arse wiping? What even is a Certificate two? Good lord.
And it all costs, it costs money, but more importantly it costs time, the time we never get back. In an over-regulated and ever increasingly lacking competence at basic life skills type of world, what are we really achieving as a species?
As individuals, as a collective bunch, what is the goal? Where does it end and where does it begin? We are in survival mode, and in the Western world, where our basic needs are met which we so often forget in the hope we’ll get just one more like on our selfie, that’s sad. But it’s ok, because you can go on a $2000 weekend retreat and do yoga to not be sad and heal from things that make you sad, just make sure you enter the code ‘exploitation of intelligence’ when you select afterpay to purchase it, because, with afterpay you can buy more clothes and pay for them later.
Getting back to security, where does yours stem from? It is about looking good, feeling fresh and getting likes? Does it hail from requiring validation from everyone and everything for doing not much at all but all the while sharing ‘#inspo’ quotes about how you are on a ‘journey’ and ‘learning every day’ and really living in the ‘moment’ because that book you vaguely skimmed after posting about it on Instagram mentioned something about the word moment, but you failed to grasp the concept, but no one will ever tell you that, for fear of offending you.
Or maybe I’ve got it all wrong as has happened a number of times over the years and you really are living your dreams by chasing likes, but I’d suggest heavily you’ve been slowly manipulated by a dangling carrot that you had the entire time but could not see for the other one always a few steps ahead of you.
And is that not just it? In this chase for this life we are told we should be striving for in our early years, only to arrive at our said destination and realize we’ve been conned, it is then we begin to suspect that something is amiss. And that not chasing our dreams has ultimately led us right into a nightmare that feels like a room with enclosing walls and an ever-rising water level and the only way out is to throw caution to the wind and just see what happens.
Last year I took some time off my full-time job to do some other things which I’d been wanting to do for ages and not doing them was beginning to eat my soul. I had been putting off this moment for far longer than I should have which took a toll on my health which ultimately gave me the push in the end to just drop security for a while and get out there and do some shit that I wanted to do.
A few things happened during this time off that a few people were worried would not happen;
I kept breathing the entire time
I still ate food and drank water
Most cognitive and bodily functions still continued even though I was not actively contributing to a superannuation fund during this period.
I suppose though there is a middle ground to all of this ‘escaping the daily grind man’ and ‘living your dreams bro’ type attitude, in that as it stands, we sort of need money to eat and get by, unless you are across how to grow food for free and have had land handed down to you which ultimately came from someone who had money at one point, fuck, by the balls we have ourselves there! But it is also weird because who bought the Earth and then decided they needed to recoup their financial outlay by making us pay for pieces of it?
Anyway, yes, middle ground, in that checking in with oneself every now and again on life progress, life activities and life satisfaction is a necessary thing, and healthy to in that it can regulate those thoughts and urges to drive right past your office in the morning and just see where you land. Getting still and being objective with yourself is 100% crucial in this world we live in right now where things have sped up so much over the last decade that it is a wonder our frontal lobe has not imploded or burnt out. And despite what Facebook says, you don’t need to become a Buddhist monk to slow down and indulge in self-care or self-reflection, you don’t need to buy oils, do Pilates, or sign up to 17000 online courses on how to do basic life things that you can do anyway but have just forgotten in the chase for the carrot.
Just do you, just do you unapologetically, but do it with grace and elegance, do it with tact and style. Do you in such a way that when someone questions you or your words, or actions of behaviors, that you shoot them a response so quick-witted, raw and honest that they can’t decide whether you’ve just enlightened them or destroyed everything they have ever stood for.
Be clever, be funny, loosen up a bit from time to time and realize that everything really is nothing and nothing really is everything, so really, nothing really matters while everything matters all at the same time.
Relax, you are going to be fine, or maybe you won’t be, but then you will be, and then maybe you won’t be again for a while, but you’ll get through it, until you don’t, then you’ll wonder how you got here, then you’ll find a way out.
Ebb and Flow, inhale and exhale, the pendulum it swings, from left to right.
Have faith, know your worth, stop chasing your dreams, live them unapologetically, just don’t hurt anyone, physically, emotionally or spiritually.